The Power of Routines
Length: ~30 minutes
Presenters:
- Paula Hermano – Director of Programs for Montessori Schools
- Dr. Ashley Morris – Executive Director of Montessori Schools
Summary:
This webinar, presented by leaders at Cadence Education, explores how predictable routines help young children build critical executive function skills—such as working memory, planning, focus, and flexibility—within daily family life. Paula and Dr. Ashley explain how routines lower stress, increase cooperation, and strengthen independence in children ages birth to six.
Welcome & Introduction
Welcome everyone and thank you so much for joining us today. We’re thrilled to have you here for the fourth parenting webinar.
With more than 30 years in business, Kidens Education has established itself as one of the premier early childhood educators in the United States. We proudly serve over 30,000 families nationwide, operating over 300 private preschools and elementary schools.
At Cadence Education, we deeply value the partnership between the school and home and are committed to providing meaningful communication to support your child’s development. We’re excited to offer parent webinars to help you navigate common parenting challenges while supporting your child’s growth and development.
Thank you for spending time with us today as we discuss a critical topic that support our daily daily family dynamics, the power of routines and executive function. Over the next half hour, we’ll explore why routines are essential for young children and how we can establish successful routines that support your family’s flow and dynamics.
We’re also excited to address questions from several families who submitted them ahead of time. These will be covered during the Q&A session at the end of the presentation. Additionally, we’ll do our best to answer questions submitted during the session through the Q&A and Zoom.
Our Q&A is being actively monitored by a member of the Cadence Education team. So feel free to share your questions as we go along. Lastly, we want to let you know that all the resources we discussed today along with a recording of the webinar will be shared with you in a follow-up email. So there’s no need to worry about detailed notes. We’ve got you covered.
Presenter Introductions
Before we dive into today’s content, let’s take a moment to introduce ourselves.
I’m Paula Hermono, director of programs for our Montasuri schools with 19 years of experience spanning infant programs, early childhood education, teacher education. I’m so excited to facilitate this session today.
And partnering with me is Dr. Ashley.
Thanks Paula. Hi, I’m Dr. Ashley Morris. I’m the executive director of Monasuri Schools and I bring 22 years of experience in early childhood and teacher leadership.
Thank you, Ashley. We are honored to be part of the Cadence Education Organization. Our goal is to support your children’s teachers, school directors, and families as we work together to create enriching educational experiences.
Goals for Today
Let’s talk about some of our goals today:
- We want to have a clear understanding of what routines are and why they matter so much for young children.
- We also want to have an insight into what ex executive function is and how routines help your child build focus, flexibility, and self-control.
- We will also explore the key ingredients of successful routine and discover strategies for creating routines to support your family.
- Last but not the least, find practical and fun ways to build routines.
Why Children Thrive on Routines
Let’s talk about why children thrive on routines. We’re going to spend a few minutes looking at child development and how routines support it.
Growing up is hard to do. Children have so many skills to learn in a short amount of time cognitively, language, socially, emotionally. As we mentioned in last month’s webinar, as children move into the toddler phase, they’re balancing moving from their secure attachment of their caregivers to exploration and independence.
Routines help provide a strong base in the day similar to the secure attachment they find from a caregiver. They help pro provide anchors, familiarity and a feeling of safety in the environment.
Children in birth the six also are going through sensitive periods in their development and they have a need in a sensitive period for order. The sequencing in environment and interaction is important for the nervous systems. Alternatively, this is why transitions can be so difficult in an airport or a store or new environment because there are just so many new things to take in.
Last month, we also discussed the front part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex responsible for higher level thinking and executive functioning. This part of the brain is developing all the way to age 24. When we have consistency in the order we do things in the day, it more quickly allows the child to engage in this area of higher level thinking.
If they are uninvolved in the daily activities or constantly acclimating to new routines or environments, this keeps their brains in the emotional center of the brain called the the amygdala.
Executive Function & The Developing Brain
I want to spend a few minutes talking about the importance of the prefrontal cortex where higher level thinking occurs.
Executive functioning is an umbrella term for higher level thinking and the research includes a range of definitions for which components encompass higher level thinking such as planning, inhibition, cognitive flexibility, working memory, attention, problem solving, reasoning, initiation, and monitoring.
These are the five that are most commonly referred to and the five that we’re going to focus on today: working memory, inhibition, cognitive flexibility, planning, and attention.
Executive Function Example — Getting Dressed
So, let’s use an example of your toddler getting dressed in the morning.
Working memory is similar to attention, but it’s keeping the specific information in the forefront of your mind when you do a task. For example, I’m putting on my pants. What order do I need to do things? Oh, I need to have my pants with me. So, I need to find them. I need to have the correct orientation. I need to know that my foot goes in first. And your child isn’t consciously thinking these things. This is more for an example.
Inhibition is the practice of withholding energy verbally or physically to go where you want to focus. For example, to put on pants, all of your energy and movement need to go into those motions, not walking around or talking to your brother or looking for a book.
Cognitive flexibility is a step that happens before problem solving, and it’s being able to see other options. So, I need to put on my pants on before I go eat breakfast.
Planning is the ability to see sequential steps. You have to have your pants in your hand before you can put them on. You have to make sure your foot is going in the appropriate spot, like where the waist is, for example, not the bottom of where your ankle hole is.
And then attention or attending is being able to stay on task the entire time. If a child gets distracted by a book or stuffed animal, now the attention has gone to something else rather than the task at hand.
Brain Development, Neural Connections & Practice
There are different skills being processed and practiced here too. So when a child practices working memory, planning and attention, this is developing metacognition and putting on pants requires a lot of physical skills all at once.
When a child is practicing inhibition and cognitive flexibility, this is developing social emotional skills. Putting on pants can be extremely frustrating for a toddler.
I also want to mention as the prefrontal cortex is developing all the way to age 24. There’s a graph provided by the center for the developing child at Harvard University showing there’s a significant spike of growth in ages 3 to 5.
If executive functioning is developing so intensely birth to five, especially age three to five, then what better time to support this development and growth even more? Strong routines and birth to six allow the child to be engaged in their environments and actively developing their executive function skills.
How Routines Strengthen the Nervous System
So let’s look at routines and fostering independence. How does it relate to executive functioning? I want to spend a few more minutes now on the central and peripheral nervous system and neurons.
Did you know that babies are born with over 100 billion neurons? Billion with a B. And over the first year of life, their experiences shape their neural connections. And the body prunes what it doesn’t need or use.
Why is this important?
Your brain is made up of neurons called the central nervous system. And your body is made up of neurons called the peripheral nervous system and they communicate with each other. And over the first few years of life, these connections are developing, pruning, and strengthening based on the child’s experiences.
Routines allow repetition and consistency in the child’s environment. When you have the same order of things in the morning, like diaper change, then clothes change, and then breakfast, this allows the body to provide faster neural networks to the things that you do all the time.
Providing children with consistency and repetition of activities allow these pathways, communication, and ability to become faster and faster.
Myelination Example
One fun thing I like to point out when I teach child development is the neuron itself. And if you look at the picture on the right, this is an illustration of a neuron and the message or communication gets passed down kind of like the game of telephone from one nerve to the next.
The pink cylinders on the axon are called the myelin sheath which is a fatty substance. And as you practice something over and over again, this fatty substance grows and becomes thicker and allows that message to pass through more quickly and more efficiently.
Driving Analogy
I want you to think about when you first learned to drive a car. I know I remember having to have my seat at a 90° angle, sitting straight up, no music, no one talking to me. All of my attention was going to paying attention to the mechanics of driving, how fast I was going, my speed, the brakes, the road signs.
And now we can drive all the way to work, eating, talking, listening to music, and you may not even actively remember the driving part. This is a great example of your body getting used to something with practice.
So over time and experience and support in the environment, things will get easier and easier as the brain and neural systems get stronger and stronger. And we want to provide this to our child as well. We don’t want our brains to work overtime all the time.
Routines provide consistent tools, reminders, and experiences to make neural connections stronger and more higher level thinking.
How Routines Build Independence
So, how do routines and independence tie into this?
Routines allow children to have clear expectations and security in what happens day-to-day. Consistency and repetition also allow them to move from secure attachment to exploration, engagement, and involvement.
Children from toddlers to preschoolers can have very strong feelings, strong will, strong interests, and routines give a guard rail or boundary about how they can be involved in their day-to-day.
Let’s go back to our pants example.
When getting dressed as part of a morning routine, it becomes predictable, expected, and there’s lots of opportunities for practicing the skill. The child is able to practice executive functioning skills metacognitively, socially, emotionally. And hopefully over time, these skills get easier and easier, leaving more executive functioning for more complicated skills like maybe buttoning a shirt or tying your shoes one day.
And now that we’ve covered the developmental basis, let’s go over to Paula for some practical and key elements of successful routines in your home.
Key Elements of Successful Routines
Thanks, Ashley. Now that we have seen how strong routines support executive functioning and how that lays the foundation for lifelong skills, let’s take a closer look at the key elements that make routines truly successful for young children and families.
One of the most essential elements is consistency and predictability.
When children know what’s coming next, it gives them a sense of security. It lowers anxiety, builds trust, and helps them feel in control of their day. This clarity around what happens next supports smoother transitions. It reduces power struggles, eases transitions, and allows them to focus more on what they’re doing in the moment because they’re not wondering what’s coming next.
Researchers from organizations like 0ero to3 and the child mind institute state that predictable routines promote emotional regulation, focus, and even better sleep.
For example, a consistent bedtime routine pattern like bath, pajamas, story time, and then tucking in your child to sleep sends strong signals to a child’s brain that is time to rest, time to sleep. When that rhythm is predictable, the body and mind respond accordingly.
Consistency + Flexibility = Success
Now, structure is key, but routines cannot be strict or rigid. the need the needs of the children do shift and when we allow for flexibility we support emotional growth and resilience.
We recommend developing the habit of observing the child and responding to what they need in the moment.
Let’s take a quick example.
It’s bedtime but your child is midway through building block towers. A rigid response might be it’s bedtime now. Put the blocks away. No whining.
But instead, you could say, “I see you’re sad since you’re working hard and that. Let’s take a picture so you can continue tomorrow.” You can have five more minutes, then we’ll start bedtime together.
This response shows empathy because you’re tuning in to how the child feels, flexibility with boundaries. You provided an extension, that five minute extension, and bedtime still happens. Collaboration as you problem solve with your child.
When routines are rooted in connection, children are far more likely to cooperate and feel safe doing so.
Prepared Environment
A prepared environment supports independence and smoother routines without you needing to prompt every step. We can ensure everything has a place and is accessible. This invites children to participate in getting dressed, choosing books, or cleaning up because the space is designed to support their independence.
It might mean placing toys on a low shelf or hanging two sets of clothing option on the child’s level high level so your child can get dressed while you’re making breakfast. These small changes reduce friction and make routines more fluid and empowering not just for your child but for you too.
Dr. Maria Montasauri actually coined the term prepared environment. She believed that the way we set up and design a child’s surroundings plays a powerful role in how they understand and navigate the world around them.
And finally, relationship and engagement.
This is what gives routine meaning. Every part of the day, getting dressed, brushing teeth, bedtime can be a moment of connection.
These simple routines become rituals when we slow down and tune in. Routines are not about strict scheduling. It’s about the connection we make and modeling we do in the process. Reading together before bed, washing dishes together after meals, modeling how to put socks on.
These routines become an anchor points for emotional bonding. And the stronger the bond, the more children want to participate in the flow of daily life.
When routines are consistent, flexible, wellprepared, and relational, they become more than just a schedule. They become a rhythm that supports the whole child.
Reducing Resistance & Power Struggles
So now let’s dive into how we can overcome resistance and bring some joy and ease into our daily routines.
Let’s talk about resistance first because every parent has been there. Young children often resist routines not because they’re being difficult, but because they’re seeking a sense of control in their world.
Children are wired for independence. When they feel that things are constantly happening to them instead of with them, resistance shows up.
Once one powerful shift we can make is moving from power struggles to collaboration. Before enforcing the next step in a routine pause to build connection. The small that small amount of warmth or playfulness goes a long way.
So instead of jumping straight to let’s go brush teeth or you need to brush your teeth, try starting with a hug or a moment of eye contact, then gently guide your child into the next step.
Language Matters
The words we use have huge impact on how routines are received. Shifting our language just slightly can make routines feel inviting instead of demanding.
Use positive collaborative phrases instead of “you have to clean up now.”
Try: “let’s clean up together.”
Or offer choices within limits.
“Do you want to brush teeth before or after pajamas?”
You’re still setting the boundary but inviting them into the process.
And always validate their emotion.
“I see you’re upset. I’m here. I can help you.”
It’s amazing how quickly resistance softens when children feel seen and supported.
Visual Tools, Timers, Music
Visual charts. This helps children follow routines on their own. You can use drawings, photos, or simple icons. And even better, invite your child to help you make it. Let them choose stickers or colors for each step. This gives them ownership and makes the routine something they’re proud of.
Timers or music can ease transitions. A sand timer for clean up or playing their favorite song during morning routines. Create structure with a light playful touch.
You might even want to use soft music to keep quiet time or nap time.
And of course, an environment designed for the child where children can easily reach their toothbrush, their pajamas or shoes. And when your child knows where to find the items, this reduces stress and encourage independence.
These tools aren’t just about making routine smoother. They’re also about making them feel joyful, doable, and developmentally supportive.
Resources Shared
Now that we’ve explored how to create and personalize routines, I’ll pass it over to Ashley again, who’s going to share some great resources.
Thanks, Ka. We’d love to show some resources to you. All of these will be in that follow-up email. So, don’t feel like you have to hurry and write everything down. We’ll share with it share it to you later.
Um, one series that we would like to share with you is by Simone Davies and she has the Monasuri baby, the Monasuri Toddler, and the Monasuri Child. And this is a great resource cuz it really fosters independence and it’s steeped in child development.
Even if your child is not enrolled in a cadence monastery school and a different curriculum, it still can be a very valuable resource.
There are two different podcasts that we’d recommend. One is called Unruffled by Janet Lansbury and there are some specific episodes on there on toddler routines and boundaries.
And then Good Inside is by Dr. Becky. She has reals on Instagram. She has a podcast and she also has a book and she has a lot of great resources too.
And then we have several articles that we’ll share with you from the sources that are listed on the slide as well.
Closing Message
So as we close, remember that routines aren’t just about structure. They’re about connection, confidence, and supporting your child’s growth.
We explored how routines give young children a sense of security, reduce power struggles, and build independence. We talked about the key elements, consistency, flexibility, engagement, and a prepared environment, and how to shape a daily rhythm that fits your family’s unique flow.
We also looked at ways to overcome resistance by using positive language, offering choices, and bringing in helpful tools like visual charts and timers. Even small intentional changes can make a big difference.
You’re not just creating routines. You’re nurturing trust, cooperation, and executive functioning. A lifelong skill that helps your child navigate challenges, make thoughtful choices, and thrive with confidence and independence.
Thanks, Ashley.
Take-Home Activity
So, to wrap up our time together, as a next step, I’d love to invite you into simple take-home activity called observing your child’s natural rhythm. This will be part of the resources that that we are sending through the follow-up email. So don’t worry about writing this down right now. Keep this as your personal journal as this will be useful as we go through the whole series and more importantly as you establish your routines.
And as always, we also encourage collaboration between parents and educators at your school to create supportive environments for children.
Q&A
And now we’re going to move on to our Q&A. And um we have questions from parents who sent it in advance. But please feel free if you have questions to use the Q&A portion of this Zoom and then we can send you an email for any questions that you may have.
Q: My husband doesn’t always get home at the same time each night and we like to try and eat dinner together as a family. What’s more important — routine mealtime or eating together?
Ashley?
Yeah, I I can answer this. Um, so yes, we understand in the modern family, you have a lot going on in your evenings. You have your work days, you have other children’s, you know, baseball games or activities, lots of things going on.
So, we really suggest that you look at your week as a whole um and just look for patterns in the week. So, for example, if your toddler’s used to eating at 5:30 p.m., then trying to majorly alter that is not going to go well for anyone.
Um, so if you want to hold like two dinners and hold an early one and then a later dinner to be able to meet your goal of having that family unit sit down together and that can kind of that can meet everyone’s needs.
For example, you could feed your toddler at 5:30 and satisfy their their hunger cues and then your toddler can have a snack or something lighter with the whole family at 7:00 p.m. when everybody’s home.
So, the idea here is to find a balance between having routines that are consistent and predictable, but also meeting your child’s needs, of course, and your own goals for your family.
Q: My son really has a hard time with transitions — timers don’t help. What else can I do?
Yeah, I can take that question. It’s actually very common. It’s a very good question. And you are already are utilizing some great resources with a timer and reminders. That’s really great.
You may want to consider doing a drip reminders at 5 minute mark, 2 minute mark, and then 1 minute. Also consider other auditory cues such as song rather than a timer. He might like that better like some music or even bells would probably um you know it’ll be fun for your child.
Also, please remember that children have different temper impairments. There are certain temperaments that will have a hard time with transition regardless of what you do. It’s okay. You can make things easier and more smooth, but it’s not going away. It’s fine.
So, just we just try to be consistent in that, but um there are really other impairments that it’s just hard for them when it’s transition time.
If your child had a hard time managing transitions, keeping routines in this in the same sequencing and pattern is very important.
Also, um, with my own children when they were little, um, they couldn’t let go of their dinosaurs. So, like when it’s time for something, we have to transition, I would allow them to take one dinosaur with them. And I hear this from Dr. Ashley as well because her son right now who’s the toddler loves trains so much. So, when she calls him to clean up or go bedtime, um, it’s hard for him to train to leave the train.
So, um, she he can take one train with him and all that all settles and everything’s calm and we can all go up together, right? So, hopefully that helps everybody and I know there are more questions. We promise to answer that all and we will send you the email with all the follow-up resources.
Final Close
So, thank you so much. We would really greatly appreciate if you can complete our feedback form.
The QR code is on the screen and a follow-up email will include today’s recording and additional resources. And our next session is on May 15 and we will explore more about morning and evening routines.
So, thank you for joining us today. Have a great afternoon.
Thanks.