temper tantrums

Is your child throwing temper tantrums?

Most toddlers do!

For parents, however, it can be irritating and challenging to deal with. Perhaps you are wondering what the norm is for temper tantrums, how they differ at each age, and how you can manage them as a parent.

In this comprehensive guide, you’ll learn all about temper tantrums at each age and how you can handle them! Read on to learn more!

Table of Contents

Tantrum vs. Meltdown – What’s the Difference?

Tantrums and meltdowns may look very similar at a glance. In fact, many people think they are the same thing. Nonetheless, we’re here to correct this—tantrums and meltdowns are not the same.

Why does this distinction matter?

Because one is on purpose and the other is not. If you punish children for involuntarily breaking down, you could harm them emotionally. Let us explain.

What is a Tantrum?

A tantrum happens when a child is trying to get something s/he wants or needs. The child will have an outburst that involves yelling and crying. When a child has a tantrum, s/he may even stop in the middle to see if the parent or caregiver is looking at him/her and then continue with the outburst.

This is not an appropriate way to express feelings. Often, children will stop when they get what they want or when they realize that having a tantrum won’t solve the problem.

 

What is a Meltdown?

A meltdown happens when a child is overwhelmed by sensory overload.  Meltdowns may involve yelling, crying, or shutting down.

For example, meltdown may happen after a busy day at an amusement park. While a child may have had tons of fun, s/he was also processing a lot of sounds, sights, tastes, and textures.

Your child can not control a meltdown that is a result of sensory overload.


toddler tantrums

How to Determine If Your Child is Having a Tantrum vs. Meltdown

If you are having a difficult time trying to determine whether your child is having a tantrum or a meltdown, try to evaluate your child’s situation.

For instance, what exactly are you doing when your child has a tantrum or meltdown? You may be in a busy place, such as a mall. Perhaps you and your little one ran errands all day, and now your child is tired. That’s a meltdown.

On the other hand, if your child wants you to buy him/her something and you say no, your child is probably throwing a tantrum, trying to persuade you buy it for them.

To truly determine how your child is reacting, though, tune in to your child’s feelings. You may even sense when these intense feelings are coming on and work to prevent them from erupting by helping your toddler manage his/her complicated emotions or distracting him/her.

How to Deal with Meltdowns

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When your child is having a meltdown, help your child find a safe, quiet place to calm down.

For example, if you are in a store while your child starts having a meltdown, step outside or go to your car until your child can calm down.

Be a calming presence to your little one. Try not to talk too much, or keep your voice soft and soothing. Remember, a meltdown is caused by overstimulation. So try to reduce the stimulation to stop the meltdown.

What Does it Mean When Your Child Has Meltdowns Regularly?

If your child seems to be having meltdowns regularly and without apparent sensory overload, it may be due to stress.

Could your child be under stress? If so, what could be causing the stress? Sometimes, it may be because parents are fighting, one parent is sick, or there is some disharmony in the house.

Keep in mind that even toddlers can sense when parents are stressed out. If you are stressed, it may inadvertently cause meltdowns. If that is the case, talk with your child. Be as honest with them as you can, but use language s/he can understand.

Healthy communication will help to ease any anxiety they might have. Be a comforting, calming presence to your little one, showing him/her that you love him/her.


how to stop a toddler meltdown


Why Do Children Throw Tantrums? An Explanation for Every Age

how to stop temper tantrums

Temper tantrums can be stressful for both the parent and child. Nonetheless, as the CDC suggests, understanding and responding appropriately to the tantrum can improve behaviors over time. So, before you throw your hands up in defeat, learn about the various reasons why children of different ages throw temper tantrums. After, we’ll discuss how to handle sporadic tantrums.

Baby Tantrums

baby tantrums

Of course, all babies cry. Usually, it’s because they have a dirty diaper, are hungry, or are tired. Most parents know what it sounds like when their baby is crying because s/he is hurt or uncomfortable. If your baby is crying because of any of these reasons, it’s not considered a tantrum.

Remember, too, that a baby’s only form of communication is crying. If your child is under one year old, s/he is probably not throwing a temper tantrum. Rather, your little one may be tired, hungry, or getting sick. If your baby is often crying and you are unsure why talk to your pediatrician.

1 Year Old Tantrums

1 year old tantrumsMost babies will throw their first tantrum around one year old, give or take a few months. So rest assured that this is normal behavior!

In fact, most toddlers throw tantrums because they are trying to express themselves. Toddlers have a limited vocabulary at this age, making it harder for them to express themselves properly.

Therefore, your one year old may be throwing a tantrum simply because s/he is hungry or tired. On the other hand, your child might be having a tantrum because s/he is frustrated or jealous.

2 Year Old Tantrums

2 year old tantrums

The terrible twos! There’s a reason for this alliterate term. Two-year-olds are usually the most prone to throwing temper tantrums.

Just like the one-year-old, a two-year-old will often throw a tantrum because s/he cannot communicate what s/he wants effectively. Sometimes, your child might not even know what s/he wants. Sometimes, it can become overwhelming for them, and they have a meltdown.

On the other hand, if your child is throwing a temper tantrum because s/he is frustrated because s/he isn’t getting his/her way, you must stand your ground. Don’t encourage bad behavior.

3 Year Old Tantrums

3 year old tantrums

Tantrums for your three year old will usually be caused by the same things that trigger a two-year-old’s tantrum. In other words, your three-year-old may be frustrated, or s/he is having a difficult time expressing him/herself.

Another cause of toddler tantrums is unrealistic expectations or rigid rules. If a child feels that you are putting too much pressure on him/her, it may cause a tantrum to ensue. It’s crucial to find the right balance as a parent. At the same time, your child must learn how to express his/her feelings without exploding.

4 Year Old Tantrums

4 year old tantrum

By this age, temper tantrums should decrease because at this age children are able to communicate their feelings.

However, some four-year-olds still throw tantrums for the same reasons a two or three-year-old will. Often, adults may think that their four-year-old is mature enough not to throw a tantrum. Sadly, if you have thought this, you may be overestimating your little one.

It’s a good idea to talk to your child and help him/her to understand that s/he is in charge of his/her emotions, rather than the feelings being in charge of your child.

Additionally, your child may have specific triggers that cause stress. If certain situations, classes, or activities trigger a tantrum, talk with your child about it. Is it too much for them to handle right now?

Lastly, four year olds could throw temper tantrums because they want something they can’t have.

5 Year Old Tantrums

5 year old tantrums

Now that your child is five years old and well on his/her way to entering elementary school, most tantrums will have ceased by now. However, some children still tend to throw tantrums. Don’t worry—it’s still normal at this age!

Your five year old could be throwing a tantrum because s/he wants something s/he cannot have, is stressed out, hungry, or tired.

If you know these are not the causes of the tantrum, talk to your child to see what may be stressing him/her out. It could be school, family problems, or something else.

On the other hand, if your child is being stubborn or is upset because s/he isn’t getting his/her way, it’s probably because you’ve told him/her no. Don’t give in if your child throws a tantrum. It is more productive to ignore bad behavior.

6 Year Old Tantrums

6 year old tantrumsIf your child is still throwing tantrums by the age of six, it could be because they have a hard time controlling their emotions. Some children feel emotions more strongly than other children.

Another reason may be because your six-year-old has a difficult time explaining his/her feelings or experiences.

Other triggers may be anxiety over certain activities or situations like trouble in school, or overstimulation.

Talk to your child to try to understand what is bothering him/her. Try to pinpoint what situations, activities, or experiences may be causing the anxiety, overstimulation, or loss of emotional control.


How to Stop Temper Tantrums

how to stop temper tantrums

Identify and Stop Baby Tantrum Triggers

As said before, baby tantrums are inevitable. Children this small can not effectively communicate their problems or thoughts.

For this reason, it is up to the parent to investigate and find the source of their grief. The following questions are a few things you should consider if your baby is throwing a tantrum:

  • Is your little one hungry, tired, or does s/he have a messy diaper?
  • Is your little one too hot or too cold?
  • Could s/he be getting sick?

Some babies throw a tantrum because they are frustrated. If that is the case, help your baby achieve his/her goal or remove the frustration. If your baby is afraid or anxious, cuddle, and comfort your little one, removing him/her from the stressful situation.

Remember, your baby cannot yet communicate with you. The only way s/he can express him/herself is to cry. If your baby is crying intensely or excessively, it’s probably because s/he is trying to tell you something.

However, if your baby is crying because s/he was playing with a confiscated toy, try to find a distraction for him/her. For instance, get your baby excited about a different toy.

Stop and Prevent Further Toddler Temper Tantrums

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Whatever you do, remain calm. If you try to punish or threaten your child while s/he is already in the throes of a tantrum, the tantrum may escalate. As mentioned, children who have lost control of their emotions may feel anxious or afraid of how they feel. If you yell, it may make the situation worse. Therefore, your first step should be calming down your child without giving in to bad behavior.

Here is how to stop each type of tantrum:

  • Fatigue/frustration tantrums. Give your child a nap or snack, offer help, or take a break from whatever your toddler is doing.
  • Attention-seeking/demanding tantrums. This is often a response to you saying no. Smile, reassure your child you love him/her, make him/her feel safe, and calmly offer to talk to him/her again when s/he is calmer. You may say something like, “When you are done yelling, you can calmly tell me that you are ready to talk.”
  • Refusal tantrum. This happens when the child says no, usually because you’ve asked him/her to do something s/he doesn’t want to do. Try to go easy on your little one if the situation isn’t too critical. If it’s snack time and your child doesn’t want to eat, for instance, don’t force him/her to do it anyway if it will trigger a tantrum.
  • Disruptive tantrums. These usually occur when children are acting up. Place your child in a room by him/herself and give him/her a time out for a few minutes. If you are not at home, take your child outside. Help your child to understand that s/he will not get attention from you or anyone else from misbehaving. Sometimes, toddlers will check to see if you are paying attention to them when they are throwing a tantrum.
  • Rage tantrum. This is when your child loses control physically and emotionally. S/He may scream, kick, or hit, potentially harming him/herself or others. Some toddlers don’t understand the intensity of their own emotions. If you are able, hold your child securely and tell him/her that you will continue doing so until s/he calms down and gains control over him/herself.

Even more, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, ignoring a temper tantrum can be a positive way to stop them.

Why?

It shows your child that you will not give him/her attention for misbehaving.

If your child is old enough to communicate effectively, talk to him/her. Your child may experience tantrums because s/he is stressed about something s/he is having a hard time explaining.


how to stop toddler tantrums


How to Stop Toddler Bedtime Tantrums

Toddler bedtime tantrums can make bedtime very difficult! Many children make bedtime difficult because they don’t want to go to bed. This is a type of refusal tantrum.

Toddler bedtime tantrums are very common. In fact, bedtime is a learned routine and will get better with consistency.

The best way to stop it is to develop a regular bedtime routine and stick to it every night. For instance, your child’s bedtime routine may start with taking a bath, then move on to brushing teeth, putting PJs on, and reading a bedtime story. Make sure that your child’s bedtime routine is the same every night and takes place at the same time. This way, your child will get used to the idea of winding down for sleep.

Be sure to explain to your toddler what happens next in the routine so s/he knows each step before it happens.

Additionally, if your child doesn’t seem tired at bedtime, you may consider getting rid of nap time. Every child is different, but most children outgrow naps around three years of age. If you are unsure about whether or not your child should have nap time, ask your pediatrician.

Lastly, be sure to reward good behavior, such as with a reward chart. For instance, when your toddler goes to bed without throwing a tantrum all week, perhaps they can stay up an extra thirty minutes on Saturday night, get a new toy, go out for ice cream, get a new bedtime book, or enjoy a trip to the park. A reward chart may encourage good behavior.

Remember, don’t give in to the tantrum. If you allow your child to stay up when they throw a tantrum, s/he will no doubt feel that if s/he throws a tantrum every night, s/he can stay up. This will only start bad habits. Always remember to remain calm and do not encourage bad behavior.

Advice for Parents: How to Deal with Tantrums

Some toddlers throw tantrums often. Therefore, you will have to know more than how to stop tantrums; you also need to know how to deal with toddler temper tantrums.

For instance, it’s always a good idea to have a plan for when your child has a meltdown or tantrum (see the infographics). Your goal should always be to keep your child safe and guide his/her behavior, so the temper tantrum is less likely to happen in the future.

Additionally, find ways to remain calm and keep your composure. Dealing with tantrums can be exhausting and irritating. However, when you yell at your child or give in to your toddler’s demands, it can worsen the situation and even teach your child bad habits.

If tantrums continue to get worse or are becoming too much to bear, you may need to talk to your child’s pediatrician. Keep reading to learn about some tantrum red flags to look out for.

Toddler Tantrums: When to Worry

why do toddlers throw tantrumsAccording to WebMD, there are five red flags when it comes to toddler temper tantrums and when to worry. Here they are:

Firstly, if your toddler is showing aggression toward you, a caregiver, or an object during all or most of his/her tantrums, it may signal a disruptive disorder.

Secondly, children who harm themselves deliberately during a temper tantrum (biting or scratching themselves, banging their heads against a wall, or kicking something in an attempt to hurt themselves) were more likely to have major depression.

Thirdly, preschoolers who have, on average, ten to twenty tantrums a month at home or who have more than five tantrums a day outside of the home may have a serious psychiatric problem.

Fourthly, if children constantly have temper tantrums that last more than twenty-five minutes, it may be a sign of another underlying problem. Keep in mind, though, that a child may have a very long tantrum and be completely normal. It’s when a child continuously has tantrums exceeding twenty-five minutes that a child may have another issue causing it.

Fifthly, if a child cannot calm him/herself down after a tantrum, it may be another red flag that a problem is occurring. These children often require some bribery or physical removal from the situation to calm them down.

If your child is experiencing one or more of these red flags, it may be a sign that s/he has some mental health problem. So what should you do?

Talk to your child’s pediatrician to see if there could be an underlying problem. Also, consider visiting a pediatric neuropsychologist for a broad assessment or see a child psychologist, who will help the child develop emotional control.

Rest assured that most children have tantrums. In fact, seven out of ten 18-24-month-olds throw tantrums, and about 75% of 3-5-year-olds have tantrums as well.

Does Your Child Go to a School that Encourages Good Behavior?

Sometimes, schools and daycares do not have the best system in place when a toddler throws a tantrum. For instance, some teachers may think the child is acting up and discipline him/her for throwing one. Other teachers may be too lenient. If your little one throws a tantrum every day before going to school, the school may be overwhelming or stressful for your little one.

So what’s the solution?

You must find a school or daycare program that encourages good behavior through positivity and a nurturing, loving atmosphere.

For example, Cadence Education makes this a priority to implement in every classroom. Through exceptional education, fun-filled days, and an environment as nurturing as home, your child will no doubt feel safe, happy, and comfortable at Cadence Education!

Additionally, these schools offer parents meaningful communication, so you are always up-to-date with your child’s behavior, activities, and personal growth. Through weekly emails and monthly progress reports, you will always be involved in your child’s daily activities.

With daycare programs for babies and toddlers, as well as kindergarten-readiness programs, your little one will surely get the fun educational experience they deserve.

Find a school near you and schedule a visit today!

should kids have chores

Do you think kids should have chores?

Believe it or not, chores are incredibly beneficial for children. However, there is a lot to consider before assigning chores to your children.

For example, you might wonder what kind of chores to give them, how to divide the tasks fairly, and how to motivate your children to get the chores done.

Luckily for you, we have the answers!

Table of Contents

  1. Should kids have chores?
  2. How to divide household chores fairly
  3. How to get kids to do chores
  4. Should kids get paid to do chores?
  5. Making chores fun
  6. Consequences when kids don’t do chores
  7. Complete list of chores by age

Before we get into the comprehensive list of age-appropriate chores, let’s answer some critical questions about kids and chores!

What You Should Know About Age Appropriate Chores!

age appropriate chores

Should Kids Have Chores?

Some parents wonder whether their children should have chores. However, even young children who have age-appropriate chores can learn valuable lessons. How so?

Firstly, chores teach children important skills they will use throughout their lives. For example, if children help cook dinner every night, they will learn lifelong cooking skills. Even doing simple things like stirring can set a good foundation for more learning in the future.

Secondly, chores teach children responsibility. When children are held accountable for completing specific tasks, they learn leadership skills and become self-reliant. Responsibility is an important skill to learn as children grow older.

Thirdly, when children do chores, they are often doing tasks that help their parents. Over time, this will help them be more aware of other peoples’ needs, rather than their own. This will also help your child develop their maturity level.

Believe it or not, but doing household chores when children are as young as three and four plays a role in a child’s future success. Marty Rossman, an associate professor of family education, researched this subject. He found that a person’s success in their 20s could be determined by whether or not they did household chores when they were three and four.

So should kids have chores? Yes! They are hugely beneficial for children!

However, it’s important not to stress children out with too many chores. There should be a healthy balance of playtime and things like homework and chores. Otherwise, kids can get stressed out.

How to Divide Household Chores Fairly

So, now you know all about the benefits of assigning age-appropriate chores, it’s time to start assigning them. If you have more than one child, it’s in your best interest to divide the tasks fairly amongst the kids. Unequal workloads may cause tension and stress and strain relationships.

How do you divide chores fairly? Here are some tips!

  • Switch It Up. One way is to have your kids take turns. For example, perhaps on Monday nights, one child washes the dishes while the other puts them away. Then, they switch jobs on Tuesday. Taking turns is a good way for every child to have a turn at all the chores.
  • Divide by Age-Appropriateness. Say you have a four-year-old and a ten-year-old. Of course, the four-year-old cannot do all the chores the ten-year-old can. Therefore, it may be best to divide the duties between the two. For example, your four year old probably isn’t strong enough to work the vacuum on his/her own. Therefore, you could assign the chore of vacuuming to your ten-year-old, and your four-year-old can water the plants. This way, the tasks are divided fairly between each child without the workload being unequal.
  • Use Visual Aides. An easy way to stay organized with chores is to make a chore chart for each child. Later in this article, you will find age-appropriate chore charts for each child. However, if you have more than one child, consider having a larger chart that lists chores for each of your children. This way, the chores can be divided equally among your kids. You could even use a calendar to record each days’ chores for each child.

How to Get Kids to Do Chores

age appropriate chores

We’ve all heard the excuses—“I’ll do it later! I don’t want to! Can’t my sister do it?”

When given the appropriate circumstances, children are very savvy when it comes to excuses.

You’ve probably heard of these excuses before. So you’re probably wondering how to get kids to do chores. Here are some helpful tips!

  • Take away the distractions. Turn off the electronics and put away the toys. You can promise your child they can enjoy those things after their chores. It may be helpful to ask your child what might be a distraction for him/her. Also, ask your children what they plan to do when they are done with their chores. Then, you can encourage them to finish their chores so they can have fun after.
  • Set a time limit for chores. For example, you might say, “Please pick up your toys in the next fifteen minutes.” This can motivate your children to get their chores done when you tell them to. Of course, if your child cannot tell time yet, you will likely want to use other ways to motivate him/her.
  • Reward good behavior. If your child can tell time, consider rewarding them for getting chores done on time. For example, you may say something like, “If you can pick up your toys in the next fifteen minutes, you can stay up for fifteen extra minutes before bedtime.”
  • Set a good example. For example, if you are leaving your things lying around, your child will probably do the same. If you want your child to clean up their toys, for example, make sure you’re not leaving your things lying around too. Otherwise, your child will be less likely to listen to what you tell them to do.

Additionally, remember that children are eager to help. If you have a positive attitude and set a good example, then your child will be more likely to help out around the house without too much of a struggle. Be sure to show your child exactly how to do the chore first, easing them into the routine of doing them.

Should Kids Get Paid to Do Chores?

As discussed, the primary purpose of age-appropriate chores is to teach responsibility and life skills. While children need to learn how to handle money, they shouldn’t be paid to do tasks they are supposed to do anyway. Otherwise, children will start doing chores for money rather than to learn important lessons.

This is especially true for young children. If your child is old enough to know how to be responsible, money may be a nice incentive to encourage them to do extra chores around the house. However, it’s a good rule of thumb not to pay children to do chores they should be doing anyway.

So should kids get paid to do chores? Money can motivate older children to do extra chores around the house but is not a good incentive for everyday chores.

Chores for Kids to Earn Money

So what kind of chores should you pay children to do?

Chores for kids to earn money will vary based on the family and its values. As stated, you may want to assign these types of chores for older children who understand the value of money responsibility. Here are some good examples of extra chores kids ten and older can do for money:

  • Mow the lawn
  • Shovel snow
  • Rake leaves
  • Babysit younger siblings
  • Help siblings with their laundry
  • Wash the car
  • Do extra cleaning around the house

How to Make Chores Fun

how to make chores funSo if you are not paying your child to do chores, is there a way to make doing chores fun? Yes! Why not try a point system for chores?

Start by making a list of chores for your children and assigning a point value for each task. Small chores like making the bed may be worth one or two points, while a chore like vacuuming may be worth five points. As a suggestion, have a minimum number of points your child must collect each day or week. This way, your child can learn to budget his/her time.

Moreover, you could allow your child to exchange the points for rewards. For example, ten points could be worth a piece of candy or a sticker. Your child can choose to save up his/her points for larger rewards. Maybe 100 points is a trip to the ice cream shop, while 1,000 can be a trip to an amusement park. A point system for chores can be fun!

Another suggestion is to make a game of doing chores. For example, you could play basketball by throwing dirty clothes into the laundry hamper or by putting toys into a toy bin. Another way is to sing kids’ songs about cleaning up. In the end, if you have a positive attitude about a chore, your child is more likely to have a positive attitude about it too!

Consequences for Not Doing Chores

Generally, it’s not good to use chores as a punishment. In other words, if your child does something wrong, don’t force more duties on him/her. Instead, teaching children through positive reinforcement is a much better motivator to get children to do chores!

However, if your child outright refuses to do his/her chores, what should the consequences be?

The consequences for not doing chores will ultimately depend on each child. For example, some children may benefit from a time out while another child may need some priveledges taken away. Therefore, you must use your best judgment about what kind of consequence should be used on your children. If you have more than one child, know that one consequence may help one child but not the other.

Here are some suggestions you can use as consequences for not doing chores:

  • Put them in time-out. The time your child sits in time out should depend on his/her age. A good rule of thumb is to give one minute out for every year of a child’s age. For example, if your child is three, put him/her in time-out for three minutes.
  • Restrict access to technology, such as games, videos, or TV.
  • Take away one toy for the day or until the chore is completed.
  • Use natural consequences for older children. For example, if your child refuses to do his/her laundry, allow the laundry to pile up. This way, your child will be motivated to get the chore done on his/her own.

In the end, it’s important to keep your anger in check. Don’t allow your emotions to overtake you. If you get mad, your child may get angry too, shut down, resist doing the chore even more or become upset. Getting angry generally does not help the situation, nor does it encourage your child to do his/her chores.

Instead, focus on teaching important skills. Remember that you assigned your children chores to teach them valuable lessons. The way you handle stressful situations can teach them valuable lessons too. For example, if you remain calm instead of getting angry, it can teach your children that they need to remain calm too. If you get angry, your children will start to mimic the same behavior.

Complete List of Chores by Age (With Charts!)

Assigning age-appropriate chores can be a tricky task. For this reason, we’ve compiled comprehensive chore lists by age!

Keep in mind that tasks were included based on developmental standards. Nonetheless, each child is different and may not have met typical development standards.

The point?

Don’t force your child to do a chore unless s/he is emotionally, mentally, and physically capable of doing so.

Check out our comprehensive lists! Then, print out our customizable chore checklist for each age group for your little one.

Age-Appropriate Chore List for Kids!

More Than One Child? Try a Calendar Chore Chart

If you have more than one child, a calendar chore chart can help assign chores to each child on a daily basis.

You may write the chores on a standard calendar you have hung up on your fridge, or you could invest in a whiteboard. A whiteboard would allow you to change the chore chart on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis, making it easier to assign chores.

The following is an example of a calendar chore chart for three children:

weekly chore chart

This particular chart is for three children: Anna, who is nine years old, David, who is eleven, and Bo, who is three. Each child is assigned chores that they can do according to their ages. They also take turns doing certain chores, so everyone has a fair amount of chores to do

In the end, the way you design your chore chart will depend on your unique situation.

Enroll Your Children in a School that Encourages Them to Thrive!

As a busy parent, you’re probably not around all the time to watch your children. Therefore, the daycare, preschool, and/or school you enroll your child in should instruct your child in a nurturing way. It should also teach your child important life skills so they can thrive when they are at home and when they aren’t.

Cadence Education values parent communication, exceptional education, fun-filled days, and nurturing environments. The result?

Parents receive meaningful communication about your child’s school days. Through the Kind Child Curriculum, kids learn valuable skills like courtesy, respect, social skills, and other values. The Kindergarten Club helps children excel in problem-solving, mathematics, reading, writing, social studies, and science. Lastly, Cadence Education teachers will care for your child as if s/he was their own. The home-like environment helps children feel happy and comfortable while they are away from home.

In the end, Cadence Education promises to give your child the best experience possible. That way, you can rest assured that your child is happy, healthy, and thriving while you are away.

Find a location near you and schedule a visit today!

types of parenting

Parenting! It’s an active role that millions of first-time parents take on each year.

However, beyond the nursing books, school district choices, and organic baby food is a more divisive decision that should be resolved before children take their first breaths: parenting style.

Parenting is a curious subject that is dependent on personal factors that vary among parents. Nonetheless, it is widely recognized that parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual health and development of a child.

There is significant research that proves that the environment that a child is raised in impacts behaviors and values. Effective parenting can prevent negative behaviors and promote healthful growth. Likewise, less-than-desirable parenting practices can cause poor habits, behaviors, and values.

This begs the question to be answered, “What parenting style should you adopt?”

In this guide, we will discuss the different types of parenting, their effects on children, and what the experts say about parenting. Keep reading to learn more!

Table of Contents

  1. Authoritarian parenting
  2. Authoritative parenting
  3. Permissive parenting
  4. Neglectful parenting
  5. How do the Baumrind parent types compare?
  6. How to choose a parenting type
  7. Parenting quotes and tips from experts
  8. How has parenting changed over time?
  9. Childcare as an extension of parenting

Types of Parenting for Curious Parents

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There is a great deal of research for new and curious parents that want the best for their children. For example, Baumrind Parenting Types outline four parenting types. In this guide, we will cover the Baumrind Parenting types and how they affect children.

What are Baumrind Parenting Types?

Put simply, the Baumrind parenting types are four parenting styles founded by psychologist Diana Baumrind to characterize parenting. Through her research, Dr. Baumrind observed and described three types of parenting that draw relationships between basic parenting styles and children’s behavior. This theory is known as the Pillar theory or Baumrind parenting types.

The following are Baumrind’s parenting types:

The following guide examines each of Baumrind’s parenting types and their advantages and disadvantages.

Authoritarian Parenting

authoritarian parenting

They are obedience and status-oriented and expect orders to be obeyed without explanation. -Baumrind

Authoritarian parenting—or helicopter parenting—is a strict style of parenting, according to Baumrind. Parents that use this parenting style are characterized as highly demanding and directing, but unresponsive.

To elaborate, authoritarian parents implement clear rules, set high standards, and maintain a well-ordered environment. In addition, communication is often one-sided: parent to child. All in all, authoritarian parents are typically less nurturing.

Furthermore, the authoritarian parenting style is separated into two categories: nonauthoritarian-directive and authoritarian-directive. Parents categorized as nonauthoritarian-directive are direct, but not intrusive or autocratic with their use of power. Authoritarian-directive parents wield their power intrusively.

How does this affect children?

As said before, Dr. Baumrind studied different parenting types in relation to how the parenting style affected children. In this case, Baumrind found that children with authoritarian parents typically perform moderately well in school. Likewise, they tend not to exhibit problem behaviors. Correspondingly, adolescents from authoritarian families display poor social skills, low self-esteem, and higher levels of depression.

Authoritarian Parenting: Advantages and Disadvantages

Pros

  • Set high standards
  • Creates a constructive and safe environment
  • Establishes strong values

Cons

  • Children exhibit poor social skills.
  • In general, kids have low self-esteem and higher levels of depression
  • The authoritarian parenting style is considered less nurturing

How are child outcomes determined? Amazingly, through Dr. Baumrind’s study, she identified probable child outcomes based on parenting type. Through a multitude of parent interviews, child reports, and parent observation Baumrind found that parent responsiveness is an accurate indicator of social competence and psychological functioning. Likewise, how demanding parents are is closely associated with child behavioral control. That being said, there is an exception to every rule, and child outcomes can deviate because of outstanding variables.


Authoritative Parenting

authoritative parenting

They want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative. -Baumrind

Authoritarian parents strike an uncanny balance of demandingness and responsiveness! Authoritative parents communicate clear standards, rules, and expectations to their children. They are firm; however, they are not intrusive or restrictive.

Authoritative parenting is often confused with the authoritarian parenting type because of similar characteristics. However, each parenting type produces different child outcomes. Why? Baumrind credits the severity of psychological control that each parenting type holds over the child.

To elaborate, both authoritarian and authoritative parents set high demands and standards. However, authoritarian parents take this control a step further. Authoritarian parents expect blind obedience without question. In comparison, authoritative parents are more open to a back-and-forth dialogue to explain standards and demands.

Ultimately, this slight variation in psychological control produces significantly different results.

How does this affect children?

Of all the parenting types, the authoritative parenting type reaps the most desired child outcomes. Authoritative parents most consistently produce children that exhibit social competence. In addition, they tend to perform to satisfaction in school. Even more, children raised by authoritative parents experience low levels of depression and problem behavior.

Authoritative Parenting: Advantages and Disadvantages

Pros

  • Set high standards
  • Creates a constructive and safe environment
  • Establishes strong values
  • Children exhibit competent social skills
  • Kids have high self-esteem and low levels of depression

Cons

  • No immediate disadvantages based on Baumrind’s study.

Permissive Parenting

permissive parenting

They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation. -Baumrind

Where authoritarian parents are strict, permissive parents—or indulgent parents—are the opposite of strict. Indulgent parents are more responsive than they are demanding.

This type of parent is considered lenient, warm, and responsive. Expectations and rules set by parents are usually minimal. Additionally, indulgent parents encourage their children to solve their problems rather than give strict advice to abide by.

Indulgent parents are divided into two groups: democratic parents and nondirective parents. Democratic parents are lenient; nevertheless, are more engaged and committed to their child.

How does this affect children?

Children raised by indulgent parents are more likely to experience higher levels of self-esteem. Additionally, they tend to have better social skills and lower levels of depression. However, as a tradeoff, children from permissive homes are more likely to be involved in problem behavior and perform less well in school.

Permissive Parenting: Advantages and Disadvantages

Pros

  • Permissive homes are considered more nurturing
  • Children experience higher levels of self-esteem and low levels of depression
  • Permissive children are more socially competent

Cons

  • Rules and expectations are not clearly defined
  • Children are more likely to exhibit problem-behavior and perform poorly in school

Neglectful Parenting

uninvolved parenting

Uninvolved parents, or neglectful parents, were not originally included in Dr. Baumrind’s parenting types. In fact, this fourth parenting type was added in 1983—more than two decades after Baumrind’s original study was published—by Maccoby and Martin. The two psychologists expanded the framework to include uninvolved parents.

Neglectful parenting is low in both demandingness and responsiveness. They are typically categorized as cold, unresponsive, and indifferent.

How does this affect children?

The impact of neglectful parenting is the most devastating of all the Baumrind parenting types. Children raised in neglectful homes experience lower levels of self-esteem and higher levels of depression. Likewise, they are more likely to perform poorly in school and exhibit behavior problems.

Neglectful Parenting: Advantages and Disadvantages

Pros

  • No immediate advantages based on Baumrind’s study.

Cons

  • The child has low self- esteem issues and higher levels of depression.
  • Perform poorly in school
  • Exhibit frequent behavior problems
  • Neglectful homes are considered volatile and in some cases dangerous

How do the Baumrind parent types compare?

baumring parenting styles

How to Choose a Parenting Type

There are a plethora of parenting types that one can research on a whim. Dr. Baumrind’s pillar theory, John B. Watson’s detached parenting ideals, B.F. Skinner’s operant conditioning method—and the list goes on!

For new or questioning parents, this begs the questions, “Is there a correct parenting type? How do I choose a parenting type?”

Sadly, there is not a definitive answer to those questions. The answers are varied based on the parent’s values, culture, and environment.

Nonetheless, according to the American Psychological Association (APA), a high-quality parent-child relationship is critical for healthy development. As a result, the APA recognizes three goals that parenting practices around the world should achieve for the best child outcome:

  1. The practice should ensure the child’s health and safety.
  2. Parents should prepare children for life as a productive adult.
  3. Parenting practice should transmit cultural values.

Surprisingly, by Dr. Baumrind’s standards, the authoritative parenting type fulfills each APA parenting goal most accurately. To recap, authoritative parents, are most likely to create a constructive home environment that nurtures a self-sufficient child.

All in all, Dr. Baumrind’s authoritative parenting type fulfills all of the APA’s parenting goals. In conclusion, it is advantageous for parents to adapt the authoritative parenting type to their values and practices.

10+ Parenting Quotes and Tips from Experts

Build Strong Relationships

“Learning to share appropriate power with a child is a skill that takes some time to understand and develop.” -Alyson Schafer, Family Counselor and Parenting Expert, #AskAlyson: Building Stronger Relationships

Raising Well-Behaved Children

“It’s important to remember that last-minute rules and consequences almost always result in fights and meltdowns. The key to raising well-behaved children with very little stress, yelling or punishment, is to use consistent, planned and clear parenting techniques.” -Susan Bartell, Psychologist, Proactive Parents Raise Better-Behaved Kids

Understanding Emotions and Feelings

“As soon as children can talk, help them learn to label and understand their emotions. The more you can meet their inevitable moments of frustration with acceptance and an eye toward solutions, the sooner they will learn to do the same. The keyword here is ‘support.'” -Tom Limbert, Parenting Coach, How to Prepare Your Child for Preschool

Encouragement vs. Praise

“Encouragement demonstrates faith and belief in a child. It asserts your unconditional love and regard for them. Praise can only be used for those kids who are doing well, while encouragement can be used for all children and especially for those with struggles.” -Alyson Schafer, Family Counselor and Parenting Expert, Alyson Schafer Advice: Stop Over-Praising Your Kids

Dealing with Parenting Woes

“It can be uplifting to look at your present parenting situation in a silly way. Put simply, it reminds us as parents that our current experiences will not last forever. The kids will grow up and move on to other challenges. They will make their marks on the world, and on us. And we’ll be better for it.” -Heidi Smith Luedtke, Personality Psychologist, Stages of Motherhood: Take a Look on the Light Side

Teaching Responsibility

“To raise a responsible and respectful child who matures into an effective and capable adult, you need to help your child learn how to handle increased responsibilities and freedom.” -Nancy Buck, Developmental Psychologist, Tips to Avoid Helicopter Parenting

‘I’m Bored?’

“Kids need to learn how to manage their time and cope with uncomfortable feelings, such as boredom and impatience, and they need to learn how to solve their own problems. Downtime gives them the emotional and cognitive space to recognize that, in fact, there are problems that require solutions, and then gives the brain an opportunity to think deeply about these problems and possible solutions.” -Susan Bartell, Psychologist, Is Your Child Getting Enough Real Downtime?

Communicating with Children

“The important part of listening to our children is to help them express their feelings and to make them feel understood.” -Alyson Schafer, Family Counselor and Parenting Expert, 6 Communication Tips For Parents Who are Tired of Fighting with Their Kids

The Golden Rule

“If you want your child to treat her peers and teachers with respect there are two things you can do: 1. Treat your child with respect.  Use respectful tones and language with her and in her presence. 2. Encourage your child to do the same to you and to others.” -Tom Limbert, Parenting Coach, How to Prepare Your Child for Preschool

Encouraging Self-Discovery

“Encourage their independence by refraining from the natural inclination to fix everything. Rather, ask open-ended, thought-provoking questions that scaffold your child to her own discoveries and conclusions!” -Tom Limbert, Parenting Coach, Seven Ways to Encourage Your Child

Child Independence

“Good parenting is not achieved by manipulating outcomes in a child’s life. Doing so teaches a child that hard, independent work isn’t necessary because someone else will do it for him.” -Susan Bartell, Psychologist, How Much Has Parents Be Involved?

Finding Power Within

“Helping your children meet their need for power within means giving them lots of opportunities to do something new and evaluate if they did it well enough to meet their own standard.” -Nancy Buck, Developmental Psychologist, Help Your Kids Tap Into the Power Within

How Has Parenting Changed Over Time?

types of parenting

Source: U.S Census Bureau

The central parenting principles outlined by the American Psychological Association has not changed significantly over time. But, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the family unit has vastly changed.

The common family unit is known as the nuclear family. A nuclear family is a family group consisting of two parents and their children. Regardless, this ideal family picture is fast-changing, according to Pew Research. In a popular study, The Decline of Marriage and Rise of New Familiesresearchers state that changing lifestyles and economics over the past century have altered American’s ideas of family.

By far, the greatest change is the burgeon in single-parent households. According to the U.S Census Bureau, single mothers made up 4.6% of surveyed families in 1960; for reference, Baumrind published her groundbreaking study in 1966. Comparatively, in 2018, the number of single mothers increased to 9.8%. Likewise, single fathers made up 0.5% of surveyed families in 1960 and increased to 2.9% in 2018.

How does this relate to parenting?

In the traditional family, ideally, two parents share the responsibility of raising a child. Two parents provide differing parenting perspectives and styles to create a well-rounded home environment. Single parents can also provide this secure family environment but may struggle without the support of a partner and/or support system.

Regardless, ultimately, there are a plethora of outstanding factors that affect parenting styles—for example, family culture, economic status, employment, and education.

Likewise, the advancement of technology has greatly impacted the way parents interact with their children!

According to the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics, guardians use of mobile devices—cell phones and tablets—around children creates internal tension and conflict. In addition, it increases negative interactions with kids affecting both parents and children.

With this in mind, it is important to recognize the several outstanding factors that may inadvertently affect your parenting style.

All in all, parenting has changed greatly over time; nonetheless, parenting goals have stayed the same. It is up to the parent to adapt their parenting style to change with the times.

Childcare as an Extension of Parenting

types of parenting

Like parenting types, childcare is a momentous decision that parents must make with care! The care that preschools provide has a profound effect on children that impacts their behavior.

School is typically the largest and most important institution with which young people are involved, and it is a primary context for their development – Institute of Medicine and National Research Council, The Science of Adolescent Risk-Taking

By and large, schools have varying structural characteristics such as classroom size, teacher-student ratio, and teacher mobility. Desirable characteristics can encourage students to exceed the standard. Whereas, inadmissible characteristics may embolden problem behavior.

So, what is the solution? Idealistically, a childcare center like Cadence Education!

Cadence Education is a leading early childhood educator in the United States, operating more than 200 private preschools and elementary schools. For more than 20 years, Cadence Education has developed and refined unparalleled expertise in preparing students to thrive in adolescence.

Above all else, Cadence Education values exceptional education and meaningful communication. They fulfill these values with a nurturing environment and fun-filled days!

Students flourish in Cadence’s home-like environments that are outfitted with stimulating lights, colors, smells, and spaces to encourage physical and emotional excellence.

Each day is filled with laughter, silliness, and fun that inspires a love for learning and nurtures positive behaviors.

The results speak for themselves! In 2017, a study using the Scholastic Kindergarten readiness test found that 90% of Cadence Education students were ready for Kindergarten. Even more, nearly two out every three students were rated advanced.

Students aren’t the only ones that are satisfied with their Cadence Education experience. In a recent parent survey, parents regarded their student’s teachers highly for their competence and genuine concern for each student.

Join this community of satisfied parents and happy children!

Cadence Education has a multitude of private preschools and elementary schools from coast to coast. It only takes one leap of goodwill to start a chain reaction of positive outcomes!

Contact Cadence Education to find the school nearest you and start the enrollment process.

Parents Corner

Homework Help

6 Ways to Help Your Elementary School Student With Homework

Homework can be frustrating for your child and you. Here are 6 tips from Scholastic to help alleviate homework frustration, and make homework time a more positive experience for both children and parents.

Read More on scholastic.com…

 

Elf on the Shelf; Modeling kindness during this holiday season.

Your Elf on the Shelf doesn’t have to get into mischief or behave badly this Holiday Season, instead have your elf partake in good deeds.

Here are some printable ideas for showcasing kindness and good values into the activities that your Elf and children can get into this Holiday Season.

 

 

Bloomberg offers a great article titled “Ten Reasons Why Early Childhood Education Pays Off”, a must read for parents.

“When a young child enters kindergarten ready for school, there is an 82 percent chance that child will master basic skills by age 11, compared with a 45 percent chance for children who are not school ready.”

Click here to read more.

Parents Corner

Need something to keep your preschooler and toddler busy while you are making dinner tonight? How about 6 lines of tape!

Read more at http://handsonaswegrow.com/5-different-activities-for-6-lines-of-tape/

Parents Corner

Parents’ guidance and support plays a crucial role in helping kids do well academically.

Here are 10 ways parents can put their kids on track to be successful students.

Read More at http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/school-help-elementary.html

In a world where children are “growing up digital,” it’s important to help them learn healthy concepts of digital use and citizenship. Parents play an important role in teaching these skills.

Read more at https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Tips-for-Parents-Digital-Age.aspx

Saint Patrick’s Day is quickly coming up on Thursday, March 17th. Here are 5 fun, educational ways to celebrate with your family.

5 Fun Ways to Celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day

1.  Read a picture book on Saint Patrick

2.  Study Snakes

Read More on tothemoonandbackblog.net

What activities will you be doing with your family on Saint Patrick’s Day?